Why?

That's probably one of the more common questions in life but often the most elusive when it comes to finding an answer. Today I'm asking a "why" question which has an answer that I'm sure I could never understand, if ever God would even choose to answer it. I spent a good deal of time yesterday reading reports of Kyle Lake, the pastor of University Baptist Church in Waco, TX. From all accounts he was an incredible individual, dedicated to his calling and his people, remaining incredibly humble at the same time. Sunday, his life was lost in a freak accident in the midst of a service.

There are all kinds of questions that I could ask about that situation but the most pressing one in my mind right now is, "Why him and not me?" I'm impressed by the character of this man and the work that he was faithfully doing. The testimonies that have been shared in the past two days say so much about him. It seems unfair that God would choose to take him at this time and in this way. All the while I sit here feeling spent and used up, of little or no value to the kingdom. Coming off what could arguably be called failure in ministry it seems like God could have been more efficient or "business-savvy" by taking me instead. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the mood to be a martyr at the moment and I don't really have a death wish. I just find myself left wondering why...Of course as a good SBC-er the answer is "It's God's will, he's got a plan." I'd spout off about how so many will come to Christ through his death, blah blah blah. And maybe that's the answer, but after so many similar situations, that answer just seems more inadequate all the time.

So, since no answer is forthcoming, let me simply say that Kyle Lake will be missed by those that he loved and served. My his life be a reminder to each of us that we have been called to live out the love of Christ and not simply speak it.

The Customary Introduction

They say that the hardest part is knowing where to start and that's definitely the truth. I'm late in joining the blogging bandwagon but hopefully people won't hold that against me. I'm not very good at sharing my feelings or thoughts, actually I suck at it, but I'm hoping that this can be an outlet for me to share the crazy things that go on inside my head. At least this way I won't be able to see the strange looks you're giving me.

By way of introduction I'm a 28 year old currently semi-employed, former youth pastor. I loved full-time ministry but then I hated it too. I love being out of full-time ministry but then I hate it too. I'm sure that you can relate to that if you've been there. Who knows what the future holds.

I'm keeping this brief because I haven't earned the right to be long-winded and verbose at this point. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and the crazy random happenings of my life. So...check back here often to see what mess I've managed to get myself into.