Paulicus Maximus

Welcome to my blog - land of the free and home of the brave!!
I'm definitely on a journey right now. For the better part of my life I thought I had it all figured out. I was walking along, enjoying life. Then about two years ago everything started to fall apart and now I have no idea where I'm headed or how to get there. I realize more each day just how little I really have figured out.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

You've Got Mail

I guess he thinks that because I paid a billion dollars to get a degree from his institution of higher education Jerry Falwell has earned the right to add me to his right-wing propaganda spam list. Every month or so I get an e-mail reminding me to be vigilant in opposing activist judges, terrorists, and people on welfare. Yesterday was my lucky day. I got the monthly edition. It's focus was completely on the 2008 election. Forget the fact that we are in 2006, with very important elections just a few months away, we're talking about 2008. I guess he wants to try and get out in front of all the bad press that comes out each day regarding the current president and his actions while in office. In light of that Jerry wanted to let me know what type of president could win the support of the evangelical vote in 2008. As if that needed to be brought up any more. We're well aware of what the evangelical community (at least that portion that gives any credence to what Falwell says) stands for and against. Nevertheless he spells it out. First, he doesn't even bother to say that it must be a Republican candidate, he just assumes that when he mentions that no Republican can win the primaries or general election without the evangelical vote. Let me just say right now that party affiliation is largely irrelevant (or at least should be) when a Christian is seeking to vote for a potential candidate. The first fatal mistake a Christian makes is assuming that just because someone is a Republican they are more qualified or more Christ-like. According to Jerry's assumptions Billy Graham would not qualify for high office simply because he is a registered Democrat. Not that I am saying that Graham is qualified, but I can't imagine anyone wanting to disqualify him on moral or affiliational grounds. The tone of the letter is predictable. First we want someone who is fiscally conservative. Well, fiscally conservative when it comes to programs that help people. We apparently want someone fiscally wreckless when it comes to the war on terror. We must be "vigilant" in the war on terror. Just put the bill on the credit card. Our grandchildren can pay for it at the same time they are trying to dig themselves out of the awful pit we got them into by continually underfunding social security and failing to find more renewable and healthy alternative fuels. Oh, and of course, he wants to build a $10 billion 2000 mile fence along the border with Mexico in order to stem the tide of those seeking hope and relief in America. I don't deny the need for immigration reform, but when it is couched in language about protecting the America "we've enjoyed" it not only sounds elitist, it sounds incredibly un-Christlike. He makes a big push for energy independence. He thinks that we should turn the gulf coast into Swiss cheese in order to bring back $1 gasoline. It was ensure national security (certainly a high priority in Scripture) and make us worry free in our consumption of non-renewable resources. He gives tepid assent to maintaining the beauty of our country but quickly writes it off as a necessary cost to using our "God-given resources" to power our indulgent culture. He doesn't speak even a word of moderation or the gluttonous attitudes of our country. And why should he? He's convinced that he'll be in glory and 20 years and it'll be someone else's problem to deal with. He can burn all the fossil fuels he wants to power his private jet and transport his goods, we certainly won't run out while he's still around.

This is just another typical example of taking complex three-dimensional issues and turning them into hot-button talking points. I'm ALL about Mr. Falwell conveying his beliefs but I want to hear reasoned arguments, not strawmen and scare-tactics. I want him to be willing to engage others in thoughtful debate, realizing that it might be possible for his mind to be changed too. But clearly that's not going to happen. So instead we get him telling us what he knows to be right, and him condemning anyone who disagrees.

If anyone feels like I misrepresented Mr. Falwell or wants to read the e-mail in it's entirety let me know. I would be happy to forward it on. I am not afraid to let you make an informed decision, as apparently some are.

Friday, August 25, 2006

And Then My World Came Crashing Down

Everything was fine yesterday. It was just another normal day. There was no hint of danger or unrest in the air. In fact it was a little boring. It was just the kind of day you would expect some earth-shattering news to be dropped on you from out of nowhere and that's exactly what happened. Apparently, everything I've ever learned is now up in the air. All those fascinating facts I was taught in elementary school are to be viewed with a questioning gaze. Everything is NOT as it seems.

What, you may ask, has caused me such despair? What is it that is giving me such grief? It is nothing less than the "redaction" of Pluto. That's right, Pluto has lost it's planetary status. It has been demoted. What was a cold and barren planet yesterday is now nothing more than a cold and barren rock. I grew up with the sure knowledge that there were nine planets orbiting our sun. I can name them in my sleep (in order no less): Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.

I honestly think this was all about towing the party line. Ya see, Pluto has always been a non-conformist. In fact it was so non-conforming that every now and then it would cut in line and become the eighth planet instead of the ninth. In the planetary realm one of these kids was doing his own thing and that just didn't go over with the powers that be. So he gets the ax. Such an unjust ending for a planet that already got dumped on as the smallest and farthest out.

This may not seem like a big deal to you but it's a HUGE deal to me. There are just some things you don't mess with. There are nine planets! Sure, you can flirt with adding more, that's fine. It's okay to add but you just can't take away. I guess the one bright spot is that I can tell my grandkids one day that "I remember when there were 9 planets..." I can tell the story of humble Pluto that used to be.

I guess it's time for a new acronym to help kids remember all the planets in order. My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas becomes My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nuts?? Who knows.

Pluto, we love you and we're going to miss you.

Friday, August 18, 2006

It's Not As Simple as It Seems

This post is probably going to get me in some trouble. Actually it's probably going to get me blacklisted by some, but hey, an honest examination of Scripture is bound to cause controversy.

There are signs that the debate over abortion is about to begin anew. The face of the Supreme Court has changed and many from the Pro-Life camp see it as an opportunity to overturn Roe v. Wade. The court will hear at least one abortion related case later in the fall and it will be interesting to see what is decided. I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately and I think I have come up with some valid questions that reveal that a pro-life stance is not so cut and dry.

The foundational principle of pro-life thinking is that life begins at conception and therefore abortion is murder. The problem is that it is a stretch to claim that the Bible teaches this. I'm not saying that it isn't true, but I am saying that if it is true, then it is truth that exists beyond the scope of Scripture. Some like to use the passage in the Psalms where it talks about God forming us in the womb to show life @ conception. While painting a beautiful picture it certainly doesn't make a case for that. It could indicate that life exists in the womb but it doesn't reveal precisely when that life begins to exist. Using it in some sort of scientific way abuses the text and misses the point. Another example given is when God tells Jeremiah that he knew him before he was ever born. The problem with that is that this is more a reference to the omniscience of God and not the pre-birth existence of Jeremiah. The point is that God had established Jeremiah as a prophet before his birth. Furthermore Jeremiah was obviously born and any reference to him cannot automatically be translated to anyone "unborn."

Evangelicals are renowned for simplifying the complex. They take complicated issues and make them black and white, which is why many consider it wrong to drink or listen to "non-christian" music, or go to certain movies, etc. One thing that has come from my "awakening" is the realization that life is a lot more complicated than we like to make it and it can't be so easily fit into some mold that gives us auto-answers to what is sin and what is not. If you disagree then you're going to have to explain to me why it is wrong to kill an unborn child yet perfectly okay to let many die of starvation and neglect after birth, why it is wrong to kill an unborn child through abortion but okay when it is collateral damage incurred during a war against terrorists. You're also going to have to explain God's dealings with nations where he orders them wiped out including the children and those with child. Does that mean that God would favor selective abortion? We can kill the children of the evil but not the children of the righteous? Abortion is okay in judgment of wicked parents? See...not so simple.

My point in this diatribe isn't even about whether abortion is murder or sinful. My point is that the issue of when life begins isn't a certainty. And the problem with that is that we are asking a man-made institution to be the chief theologians when we ask the Supreme Court to determine that life begins at conception. In light of the many shades of gray, perhaps this is an issue that should be left to an individual. I sure don't want the Supreme Court creating laws based on their interpretation of Scripture. They are good, wise men and women (woman) I am sure, but perfect they are not, inherrent they are not, and I'm not sure I want such black and white decision.

For many this means that my conversion to the dark side is complete. From Republican to Democrat, conservative to liberal, and now from pro-life to pro-choice. I don't know what to say to that except that I feel my faith to be more real today than at any point in the past, my commitment to being like Christ more determined. I truly want to know Christ and live life following his example. I want to demonstrate his love to others as purely as possible. The problem is that for many I don't fit into their paradigm. They can't reconcile what I just wrote with my views on abortion and poverty and war. I guess in a black and white world with cut and dry answers the only definition many can give me is "lost."

Monday, August 14, 2006

How Many Evangelicals??

How many evangelicals are dismayed today at even the slightest chance that there might be peace in the Middle East? Many evangelical leaders appear to be hoping for a doomsday scenario that eventually sees the entire region plunged into an all out war with Israel. This is because God, in his infinite weirdness, is going to swoop down just in time to collect all the good Christians, and leave the rest of the world to face hell on earth. So everyone else's doomsday is the Christians eternal vacation. Apparently that's because we as Christians are above judgment and retribution for our sins. Or maybe it's because our struggles with gluttony, lust, divorce, and the like are much less worthy of condemnation than homosexuality, flag burning, and abortion. Anyway, the point is the first atomic bomb is our ticket to paradise baby!

Probably the only ones breathing a sigh of relief today are Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, who still have a few more novels to squeeze out in their Left Behind series which many Christians have unofficially accepted as the most accurate modern translation of Revelation. Nicaloe Carpathia is in there, trust me! As long as unrest and all out war remain just on the horizon these two guys can continue to profit from the hysteria and utter silliness that is dispensationalism.

Personally I'm not optimistic about lasting peace or even a lasting cease fire but at least people are able to consider the possibility of returning to their homes today without the fear of carrying out the bodies of their dead children as the cost. That's something that I hope all Christians can agree on. Pray for the peace of Jerusalem they say.

P.S. - In case of rapture this blog will be unmanned...haha, yeah right.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

It's Worse that I Thought

I’ve devoted the greater portion of my life so far to pouring into the lives of students, primarily jr. high and high school students. Post high school I spent 3 years as a volunteer youth worker, 5 years as a part time intern/assistant and 2 ½ years as a full-time youth pastor. By the time I arrived at my position as youth pastor I had developed a great level of optimism. I was convinced that I knew what it took to successfully accomplish youth ministry. I felt like I had seen some pretty good examples of how it should be done and I was ready to take that to the next level in my own ministry and really see God do some great things. Unfortunately I left youth ministry at the opposite end of the spectrum. I was discouraged and doubted everything that I had ever believed in.

All throughout my time in ministry I always had a soft spot in my heart for the outcast and unpopular. It seemed like with all the great things going on there seemed to be many that got left behind or that slipped through the cracks. I also had this continual nagging at my soul as I watched many of the “best” and “brightest” graduate from high school and seemingly disappear from the spiritual map. Nevertheless I refused to let those things distract me as I continued to make sure that I was giving my current students that all important experience or that life-changing event.

As time went on the nagging got more and more troublesome. Our ministry was doing okay, it was growing, we were getting into a groove, but something just wasn’t right. For some strange reason that I still don’t quite understand I decided to do an honest evaluation of youth ministry as I had always known it. I began to question the cardinal truths and as I did I slipped further and further into despair. I began to see the dismal statistics regarding the success of youth ministry and they became more dismal as I began to personalize it by putting faces to those statistics. I was beginning to learn that somewhere around 51% of students who graduated from high school were walking away from the Church, with no intention of returning. For the mathematically-challenged out there that’s more than half! Whatever was happening during those six years apparently failed to transcend the whole of their lives. Upon further examination I began to see more research that showed the number to be somewhere around 73% by the time these students graduated from college. Now we can talk about relevance and experience and community and all those buzzwords but if only 27% of our students are getting it then there seems to be no question in my mind that we need to try something else.

And here’s where it gets worse. I just saw an article last week that showed that the number was closer to 88%. If that is true, and I haven’t been able to fully confirm it, then only 12% of the students that we’re “reaching” are truly being reached. You have to wonder if we would do any better if we weren’t even trying!! Barely 1 out of 10 that I am investing all this energy, time, and these resources into are truly being changed in a way that affects their lives. I’m no rocket-scientist but I’ve got big red lights flashing and sirens wailing inside my head.

When I left youth ministry I told the people I was going back to school so that I could gain a voice to be able to speak to these things and that explanation was partially true. I wanted to have a voice to try and bring about change. We can’t keep doing the same things we’ve been doing for the past forty years with just a little more lights, a better band, and better coffee, and just hope and claim that it’s going to somehow be different. That’s just insane. They’re clearly not buying it.

The full truth of why I walked away from youth ministry and all ministry in general is because I’ve determined that I’m not going to keep being a part of something I believe to be the biggest farce in the Church today. I don’t know what the answer is but I know without a doubt that it’s not about a bigger, better flashier service. It’s not about more relevant teaching or a new building. We’ve been down that road and we’re failing miserably.

I admit there was a part of me during this honest soul-searching that thought, “I can do this. I can put on a cool service. We’ll make kids laugh and cry. They’ll have great experiences. We’ll take them on trips that give them warm fuzzies and use all those cool buzz words. But in the end I just couldn’t live with myself, knowing that God had called me to more than just Christian programming or brand marketing for tweens and teens. So here I sit today, not sure what the future holds but more resolved than ever that something’s got to give. I know all of this is pretty vague, but hopefully I can flesh it out more fully in future posts.