Unappreciated Talent

I got the chance to go the Rascal Flatts concert last night in OKC. It was a first for me, as I am generally opposed to country music. However, I actually enjoyed myself and I came away with some appreciation for people that I had never had before. Here are a few things which I think merit some recognition:

1. The ability to carry cups of beer filled to the rim without spilling a drop - This is quite an impressive talent. I mean, let's be honest, the room they give you to maneuver at these sort of places can't exactly be categorized as spacious. In fact precarious is probably a more descriptive term. This particular talent gets even more impressive throughout the night as people are still able to manage a full cup even after getting two or three into their systems. You'd think they were carrying cups full of plastic explosives. Never, ever underestimate the value of beer.
2. The shamelessness of country music fans - I have never been to a concert where people sang along, word for word, so much. I mean these people knew every word of every song, and sang it with the perfect twang. Most of these people were tone-deaf and drunk, which just adds to my appreciation for their shamelessness.
3. The ability to wear jeans that are three or four sizes too small - Now, I don't think this one is as common as it once was, and since Rascal Flatts can only marginally be called country anyway, this was a rare sighting, but a sighting it was. I'm just amazed that people are able to stand, sit, and carry out other necessary movements required of human-beings in that state. I learned to appreciate this particular talent while in one of the restrooms. As I was washing my hands I saw this guy (estimated weight - 275) out of the corner of my eye that I thought had just gotten shot in the stomach. It turns out he was just sucking in with all his might and holding himself just right so that he could get his pants buttoned again after relieving himself. Of course, knowing how impressive this was he decided to do it in front of all of us, rather than in a stall where no one would appreciate his talent. It probably would have been okay if he wasn't able to get his on because he could have borrowed mine as they appeared to be about two sizes bigger than his.
4. The poetry that is country music - Who would have thought that after seven decades of singing about their trucks, their women, and their dip they could still come up with such creative lyrics, but alas, they can. Case in point, Blake Shelton. He sings this song about "some beach." He keeps referring to it in the song. Every time somebody does him wrong or does something bad to him in the song he just launches into singing about "some beach." Only the most cultured would realize that this "some beach" is a creative allusion to a hicking, slang way of calling someone the offspring of a female dog.

So as you can see, I learned a lot from my new experience. I was even treated to some covers of Van Morrison, the Eagles, Elton John, and AC/DC. Sure never would have expected that at a country music concert. Wonders never cease.