Breaking the Silence

It's been a long time since anything has been posted here, an even longer time since anything of value has been written, some might say. I'd like to be able to say that it's because I've been really busy, which is probably partially true, but what is also true is that you take time for things that are important and if saying something here had been important then I would have made the time to say it. In actuality I haven't posted here because I haven't really had anything to say. I mean, there have been points along the way where a stray thought of posting has come, but in general nothing compelling enough to block out the necessary time for pondering, penning, and editing that is required.

The sad thing is that being busy is what usually sparks the creative juices but that just hasn't happened this time and I've resigned myself to the realization that I'm in a funk. I'm apathetic to the core, which is very unlike me. Usually, even when I'm apathetic I'm passionately apathetic (if that can be). I'm restless and uncomfortable in my apathy. However, this time I've settled in and now I'm really just wallowing in it.

Probably a major reason for the apathy is that I've been in transition for awhile. In the past several months the wife has started her PhD program, started a new job, we sold our house and became apartment dwellers again, been through some medical issues for myself, and other upheaval has struck with members of my family and remains in limbo. I hate transition. I like things to be done. There are two places where I find great delight, the imagination of new things and the completion of them. The process in between is a difficult place for me evidenced by the fact that I tend to rush changes and force things so that I can get from one place of great delight to the other as quickly as possible. So...the extended cliffhangers of life have me running for my protective shell. Well, at the very least, I have a learning opportunity here and maybe there'll be some important lessons for this thick-headed, muck-wallowing person that I am.

I just thought I would give you a little heads up on where I'm at. Transparency is good for the soul...or the ratings if you're in politics or Hollywood I hear. I leave you with two of my New Year's resolutions.

• Three paper towels instead of four. Every day at work when I wash my hands after using the restroom I pull four paper towels out of the dispenser (yes I wash my hands, I'm sure you're relieved to know). Starting today I'm giving it a go with only three. It's a challenge. Four is the perfect amount. Three can leave your hands damp and five is just excessive. Nevertheless, feeling the need to do my part for the environment I am attempting to get the job done with three. It may cause me to have to stand idle in the bathroom longer which could lead to more awkward conversations (see previous post) but it's a price worth paying.
• Drink more green tea. The stuff is amazing. I don't really know what exists inside the little baggy but apparently whatever it is has been revealed to increase the length of your life. That's really important for people like me who've spent the last few months in a funk. At least if I drink more green tea then that's less time wasted on self-indulgent pity, right? Don't you just love the way my brain works?

With that, happy new year! I wish the best to each and every one of you. "Even me?", you ask. Yes, even you.