What I Was Saying, Only NOT

The New York Times posted an article last Friday entitled, "Evangelicals Fear the Loss of their Teenagers." In some ways it's exactly the things I've been saying for awhile. In other ways it's completely different. The point of the story is that high-profile mainstream evangelical leaders such as Ron Luce, Jerry Falwell, Ted Haggard, and others are starting to flip out over the fact that teenagers are not sticking with the church. In fact, they've carried the data to extremes, proclaiming the number of those sticking around to being about 4% or soon approaching that number. Of course, this sends them into panic mode, or at least the appearance of panic mode.

I think that they have a somewhat convoluted purpose in their latest crusade. The best medicine for pushing people of apathy into action is to astronomically raise the level of fear and guilt. This isn't just an evangelical thing. At the very least its a western mindset. For further proof just look at things like anthrax scares, hurricanes, and the like. But I would contend that no group on the planet is better at pushing that button than evangelical preachers. And I think in this case they are using fear and guilt to stir up the people to do "something" to keep their teens. However, I'm not so sure these churches and church leaders are quite ready for action.

A few things, I think, are important to note. First, their 4% (or some say 5%) numbers are COMPLETELY out-dated, and unsubstantiated. It's an exaggeration for the sake of striking fear into people. That may seem odd, coming from me, as I've been saying for awhile that the church is losing a generation. However, it is important to be accurate and honest in our evaluation and NOT go to extremes or jump to conclusions just to get people's attentions or stir them to action. I think what you would get in that situation is a bunch of people running around trying to do something, without really a clue of what needs to be done. Fear and guilt aren't always so interested in what action is being taken, only that action is being taken. That way consciences are soothed.

Second, one thing that is important to note in regard to this issue is that attendance in church youth groups is at an all time high in our country. So, if there's a problem it's not just going to be solved by going out and getting more people in the doors. We've got more people now than ever before. Perhaps instead of a solution, could that, maybe, be part of the problem? Additionally, the exodus can't just be blamed on the current culture. That's an easy place to point the finger, but the fact that we're having kids show up in droves sort of blows that one out of the water.

Another important issue of note, and this statistic is far more substantiated, is that teenagers are generally considered MORE spiritual now than they have been in the past. True, their commitment in spirituality isn't always directed towards the church, yet their spiritual depth and awareness has actually increased in a lot of ways. Many are feeding their spiritual lives OUTSIDE the walls of the church. And that's important because the main focus of blame is often directed towards an "increasingly secular society," which I mentioned above. In the estimation of many, a secular society is pushing teens away from God and the Church. Unfortunately the previously noted points seem to contradict that. It seems rather than pushing them away it might possibly be causing them to seek him out in a new and unfamiliar way. This can't be said for certain, but the data that points to this possibility needs to be examined.

Finally, and this is the one that I think deserves some very serious consideration. Why do evangelical churches think they are the solution to the problem? Their approach to the whole situation could be seen as pretty arrogant. Number one, they don't really blame themselves for the most part. It's the secular culture coupled with apathetic parents, or just society at large. Sure, there is some blame to be had, but it "seems like" the blame is leading towards finding a better marketing niche, rather than leading to a true repentance and honest evaluation. I mean, perhaps I'm naive but it seems to me that a secular culture is always going to be secular. The world is going to continually be pulling at ALL of us. It's something that's always been around and always will. Perhaps it's not that the culture is becoming too strong. Perhaps it is that we are not adequately preparing or reaching students so that even in the midst of a secular culture they are living out the message of Christ.

Number two, they seem to just assume that some action on their part will solve the problem. Could it be that this isn't actually the case? Perhaps God is doing something different. Perhaps this isn't an opportunity for the mainstream churches to fix a problem, perhaps it's a time for them to look around, ask what God is doing, and ask how they should adapt and get involve in a new work. I know that's scary work for pastors to do because it might just mean the loss of job security and a healthy nest egg. It might mean the dismantling of denominational hierarchies. It might mean the relinquishing of the power and prestige currently associated with the guy standing in the pulpit. But if we're serious about really doing something then it's going to have to begin with an honest evaluation and NOT just some fiery sermon meant to scare the complacent troops into action. Just a thought.

**I use the term "secular culture" in this article as referred to by many in evangelical circles. However, I am very cautious about putting the labels "secular" or "Christian" on things, just because I think it fosters a delineation that isn't necessarily meant to be there. Another thought worthy of discussion.

The Gospel as Clear as I've Ever Seen It

There is so much going on these days that it's hard to pick and choose exactly what to blog about. However, there is one blog I've been wanting to write for the past few days and I'm afraid that if I put it off any longer then it will just end up as a thought worth sharing that never got shared. I'm not the first to blog about this and I hope I'm not the last, but I wanted to be sure and share what I believe to be one of the most incredible displays of the lovingkindness of Christ ever given on such a public stage.

This week's attack by a deranged man on a group of innocent Amish students is beyond tragic. You could not find a more glaring contrast than the murderous rage of one man and the peace and compassion of another. This man's attempt to ease the grudge he had apparently been carrying for 20 years provided a backdrop to perhaps one of the clearest depictions of the teachings of Christ that I have ever witnessed. It is so clear, in fact, that it transcends all sorts of social barriers. Who could not be moved to hear that these devoted followers of Christ are, in their own time of great need, making a point to minister to the widow and children of the very one who murdered their children? Who can not be brought to tears to hear of the grandfather teaching a group of boys about the unconditional love of Christ by saying that they can not think evil of this man as they stand over the life-less body of a little girl?

The Amish are a different lot. They go to measures that many of us would consider extreme and unecessary in their devotion to God. How fitting that in this age of vengeance and proportional responses their actions of love and forgiveness also seem extreme. Surely anyone would understand their desire for retribution. Surely anyone could understand their anger and resentment. And yet they believed the one who commanded us to turn the other cheek and to bless those who persecute us. They believe him so completely that even in the face of their greatest loss they hold tightly to the promise that as they mourn they will be comforted.

Not only does their message demonstrate the love of Christ to a watching world, it also serves as a challenge to believers who don't want to admit that they've allowed the teachings of this world to mingle with the true message of Christ. I sit here today with burning coals on my head because I know that many times I have reached the end of my forgiveness. I have been hurt too much to let it go. My love has a limit or a price tag and I've rationalized withholding it from those who have wounded me. This morning I hear the teachings of the savior anew as he calls me to take the heart of a servant and consider others as more esteemed than myself. I hear him calling me to let go of my grudges and my anger and my resentment and to put on love. I can think of no greater testimony to these dear children and their families than to follow them as they have followed Christ and obey.

5 Years...Wow...

Has it really been five years? Surely it hasn't been five years. It seems like it was only yesterday, but it's true. Five years ago today I got to marry the most incredible, wonderful, beautiful person in the world. You all were probably there since it was the event of the century. Heck, half of you were probably in the wedding party. I didn't know I had so many friends.

Anyway, these past five years have been absolutely incredible. At times I think that the events of life would have been unbearable without my wonderful wife standing there beside me. I know you may find this hard to believe but I am far, far from perfect. My wife patiently puts up with my melancholy mood swings, my martyr complexes, and my just plain goofiness, and she does it all with a smile.

So I just wanted you guys to know how lucky I am. Marriage isn't always easy but it's definitely worth it if you find the right person. I've found that right person and I'm looking forward to another 55 years just as great as these first five.

What's Next?

That's a great question. In honor of their fiftieth anniversary, Christianity Today is doing a series on what the next fifty years of ministry holds for the Church. One part of the series is focused on what is next in the area of youth ministry. They poll several major players in the field of youth ministry to get an idea of where things are at and where they need to go from here.

Those questioned include Mark Oestreicher, Chap Clark, Walt Mueller, Kenda Creasy Dean, Ron Luce, and others. That's a pretty impressive list. There are a lot of years of youth ministry and youth ministry training in that collective group. Not surprisingly the general consensus is that as we continue to do the same things in youth ministry that we've been doing for decades we are seeing it be less and less impacting in the long term. The chasm between being active in youth ministry and then being active in the church as adults is growing. Some snippets of the series are available online here. I just wanted to post a few select quotes because I believe their words give credence to fears that I've had related to youth ministry.

"[These] kids seem happy and willing to attend, and engaged in our ministries, but five years from now, when they're in college or post-college, they just really aren't connecting with real faith, let alone church."

"We have treated kids as a separate species, which has had the effect of marginalizing them in church life." The result is that older teens and young adults may have trouble feeling connected to the larger church.

Walt Mueller, president of the Pennsylvania-based Center for Parent-Youth Understanding, said evangelicalism's theology of conversion contributes to the problem. "What we judge as success is a high number of hands that go up when the invitation is issued, or a high number of feet that walk forward."

Like I said, pretty common thread running through those thoughts. We are creating a subculture within the Church. We are so marginalizing teenagers that when they get into their twenties the only way we can continue to get them active in church is just to create a new one that caters specifically to them.

I wonder if a major part of the problem is the "instant" culture we live in. As youth pastors and youth workers we measure our success in the here and now. If I have a growing group that's a success. If my kids are getting involved in mission and service related projects that's a success. If they are learning the Bible that's a success. The problem is that they're doing all these things isolated from the overall Body of the Church and they have absolutely no understanding of how they fit into that Body or how to engage it when left to themselves after high school. Because we see ourselves as successful in the short-term we don't see ourselves as a factor in causing the problem whenever these kids graduate. We just write it off as an increasingly irrelevant church, never realizing that our isolation mentality is leading to the problem.

And so what is our typical solution? It's starting a 20-something Saturday night service, meant to be hip and cool or a new seeker-sensitive mega-church popping up in our area. But those things doesn't solve the problem, they just put a Band-Aid on it. They re-affirm the isolation of groups and segments within the Church. Somehow we've got to re-invent things so that 65 year olds can be actively engaged in church with 25 year olds. We need to teach these groups how to relate to one another and learn from one another. We as youth workers need to come clean and admit that "success" must be measured in the long run and if our students aren't active in their churches and in their faith 5 and 10 years down the road then it doesn't matter how many great experiences they had as teenagers. Until we do that we will just continue to perpetuate the problem.

Honestly, the thought of this sort of change is terrifying to me. I have absolutely no clue how to see these things happen because all I've ever known is the failed system. In fact I know it so well that as someone who is no longer engaged in full-time vocational ministry I have the same problem of connecting and finding my place in the Body as other 20-somethings currently do. And as I wrestle through all of it right now my heart goes out to all the students that I've ministered to over the years because I know how inadequately I prepared them to be engaged in the Church as adults. And what's really sad is that I know how incredible those students are and were and how much the Church is missing because of their lack of involvement.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just beating a dead horse and I wonder how long I should keep talking about this. I guess I talk about it because I'm tired of being a part of the problem and want desperately to be a part of the solution. I just wish I knew how to do that.

Bathroom Thoughts

They recently added a new scent to the bathroom at work. As soon as you hit the door you are overcome by this fruity, cherry smell. It's a little disconcerting, to say the least. I mean, a bathroom should certainly not smell so bad that you don't want to go in there but in the same way it shouldn't smell so good that you do want to go in there. It's just too great a temptation, especially around lunch time. Now how weird is that?

Speaking of the bathroom, I had one of those great moments in bathroom history last week. By great I mean awkward of course. I had been in the bathroom and was at the stage where I was going to wash my hands. As I was making my way to the sink one of our fine higher-ups came in the door and went to go do his, um, business. Anyway, he starts talking to me. Now, I'm not into that sort of thing but I can be at least a little tolerant. Quick and witty banter is acceptable. Just don't hinder me from my escape out the door. Unfortunately, on this particular day quick and witty banter just wasn't enough. This person was having some computer issues and since I'm the tech guy he was recounting his trials and travails to me.

Now, a couple of things make this really awkward. Number one, we're not alone. There is another person in the bathroom who hears everything we say. Talk about stress! I don't want to be branded as a bathroom conversationalist. I don't want to be that guy! I've cultivated my private bathroom persona through years of avoiding eye-contact and giving mono-syllabic answers resembling grunts! Now, in a matter of minutes he's wiping all that out!

Number two, I'm done with my bathroom usage. At this point I've washed my hands. I'm just standing there while he's using the bathroom. And of course, it's taking him about 10 minutes to get out what he's trying to say. All the while I just stand there wondering what the heck I'm supposed to do! How stupid do I look!?!? And then, fate of all fates, somebody else walks in! Now I really look like a nut job. I'm not just a bathroom conversationalist, now I'm a bathroom stalker or something. I hunt people down in the restrooms for power meetings and tech support calls. I've taken multi-tasking to a whole new level.

Anyway, I did as much damage control as I could, staring at the wall, being my helpful and cheery self but making sure I looked completely uncomfortable in the process that way anyone who saw me would know I was a captive audience and a miserable one at that. I think there was even a tear and some drops of blood pouring from my brow for theatrical effect. Fortunately he eventually finished right before I was about to fake a heart attack so I was spared further embarrassment.

Anyway, somebody needs to inform people of the rules of bathroom etiquette. Maybe there should be a list posted in front of the urinals. Something in really big letters that says, FOR GOODNESS SAKES, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Okay, I've said all I need to say.

SOF/POM Struggles

So I'm sitting here on my lunch break today, eating the quality leftovers from Sunday evening's meal and I'm trying to work on a project. I'm trying to formulate some ideas regarding my personal statement of faith and philosophy of ministry. Can I just say how difficult that is? First, I've written at least three of these in the past and I would venture to say that those three particular papers have no more value today than to provide kindling for a fire to keep us warm should we ever neglect to pay our electric bill. That is because they represent so little of my current statement of faith. I've got the one from the purpose-driven, seeker-sensitive days, the one from the fundamentalist puritanical days, and the one from the Elijah complex days (Only I am left, all the others have bowed to Baal, poor, pititful me, etc). I have a feeling that the one I would write today would be the post-evangelical, post-Christian, anti-establishment, mad at the world version. And I'm equally sure that I'll think differently about a lot of things five years from now.

So I think this time I'll put a disclaimer at the bottom. Something like: **This Statement of Faith/Philosophy of Ministry is subject to change frequently and dramatically. The views expressed in this paper do not necessarily represent the views of the author or his home church and denomination. Oh, and of course, it would have to say "Any rebroadcast, re-transmission, or other use of this post, without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is strictly prohibited."

The other reason why I groan at the thought of doing this sort of thing is because I'm an incredibly pathetic writer. In comparison to the writing skills of my wife and my friend Eggroll Mama I am a featherweight. I don't know if it is because my brain moves too fast or what but I have a hard time taking the things that are in my head and putting them down in print. I know it is important because the written word has a lot better chance of surviving nuclear holocaust than does the VCR and DVD player and I want my ideas to outlive me. And so I am struggling today to write out my thoughts so that if anyone should ever pool my ravings during the various stages of my life they can say, "Yep, he's nuts, just like we thought." Speaking of which, is it sacrilegious if I actually write about the essential value of Starbucks in my evangelism section?

Random Thoughts

There are several things I've been wanting to blog about lately but I just haven't had the time or mental energy. There are at least a few things I wanted to throw out there though so this is my collection of random blog thoughts:

Sheesh, what a hard week for students. Three deadly shootings within a matter of days. And as if that's not enough they involve abuse and mental torture. My heart is in agony for families across the nation today who are feeling loss. And I just wonder what in the world is going on??

Thought number two, I repent. What am I repenting for, you ask? I'm repenting for my ignorance while doing ministry. Before I was in full time ministry I worked in "the real world" for five years. I'm not sure if I was sheltered during that time or if I learned this lesson and then forgot it but living life is hard. The whole time I was in ministry I was disappointed at what I felt was an apathetic attitude and self-centeredness that kept parents and students from giving more of their time and energy to our ministry. I always felt like church was the lowest priority for people. The truth is, 8-5 is hard. Getting all the necessary stuff done at home is hard. Juggling obligations can be daunting. And when you do have free time, what you really want is to relax and unwind with friends, not head to a service where you're going to get beat over the head by some young youth pastor who doesn't have a clue about what you're going through and won't take the time to learn. So for that I'm truly sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't seek to understand where you were coming from before I judged you. I'm sorry that I wasn't grateful for what you gave because I was so consumed by wanting more from you.

Thought number three...the November election and the main thing. A pretty important mid-term election is just around the corner. I can't say for sure what the Republican higher-ups are thinking in the way of strategy but just taking stock of recent news, blogs, and talk it has seemed to be like homosexuality would be the banner cause for the final months. What better issue to use to garner last minute support than this? It apparently threatens to destroy our families and the very moral fabric of our society. It will rally the base and get them to the polls if they believe for a minute that a Democratically controlled House or Senate will lead to more equitable rights for this group of society. Anyway, it just seems like this was the horse they wanted to ride. It might have blown up in their face this past week in light of the scandal involving Rep. Foley and several young pages. But really that's not my point. I wanted to comment on a particular piece of literature I came across last week. It was a simple tract for parents that showed them how to properly deal with the advance of homosexuality within the schools of our country. There was a lot wrong with the article but in particular one point that they made very clear was that your student should absolutely not be friends with a homosexual. They can be acquainted, but nothing more. I'm just imaging the situation when a friend gains the courage to talk to someone about thoughts and feelings they've been having that make them feel different or alienate them. They choose to open up to your student because of their life-long friendship. According to this article, what is the proper approach? Apparently the only sane response is the ending of the friendship. Something about that just doesn't seem right. And I have to wonder what Jesus, the friend of sinners, would do.

So there are some random thoughts. Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. I have more to share and hopefully I can collect my thoughts more quickly.